I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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