where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
