We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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