return my video game
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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