I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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