Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize