I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just had sex on a roof
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
