Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it hurts more in the daytime
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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