He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
