Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
