u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
