oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
