very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
