I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
