My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
