I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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