My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How's work?
Spinning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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