you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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