I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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