You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
