Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
