i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
