Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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