I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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