Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
