based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
