it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
