Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
