She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
