Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
