Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
