Do you still have your period?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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