How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize