Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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