I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
