Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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