It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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