Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
