idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
