Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
