I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
