she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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