There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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