She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
