so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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