Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
