Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize