the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
