We won't sleep together?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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