Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
there is glitter all over my balls
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
