Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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