You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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