This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We are two peas in an std pod
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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