I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We have so much sex to catch up on
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
