No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize