Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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