So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
