Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize