1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet