She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan