Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
