I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
