oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
