Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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