Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When did angry sex become our thing?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
