Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
