shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize